Peter moves on from general submission to more personal submission, in the home, and firstly in marriage.
“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” (v1,2)
The godly wife will be submissive to her husband because God commands it, and if we are to live godly lives, we should have no difficulty in carrying this out. This submission isn’t a reward for the husband’s good behavior; as the proper order of the home.
The teaching about submission was especially relevant to a first century married woman who had begun to follow Jesus. The Bible says that we should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, therefore, a wife could ask questions such as “Should I leave my husband?” or “Should I change my behavior towards him?” or “Should I assume a superior position to him because now I am in Jesus?” The answer was ‘No’. Even though it was probably the most difficult situation where one partner was a believer and the other not so, as we still see today. In the world of their day, it was almost unthinkable for a wife to hold a different religion to her husband. Therefore, they needed help and instruction. We will see an answer to this shortly in this passage.
Submission in marriage follows the same principles as submission in other spheres. We submit to God appointed authority as our obligation before God, unless that authority directs us to sin. In that case it is right to obey God rather than men (Acts 4:19-20). If we are in Christ submission is the same in all situations. It is submission of heart, our total being, not just actions.
In marriage it is certainly not a wrestling match type of submission – pinning one down to the floor and demanding submit or else.
One commentator says that submission to authority can be totally consistent with equality in importance, dignity and honour. Jesus was subject to His parents and also to God the Father but not lower than either of them. Thus, the command to wives to be subject to their husbands should not be taken to imply inferior personhood or spirituality, or lesser importance.
Wives are to be submissive to their own husbands, not to anyone else’s husband, or to men in general. The command to male headship is for the home and the church, but not society in general.
The benefits of submission are displayed here in the way a submissive wife can influence her husband. It can accomplish great things for God. “That even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives:” Notice it can even be without saying anything, simply by actions. It is expression of her faith, trust and obedience to God.
Our behaviour as believers is so important, it is not instead of preaching the gospel but supplemental to it. There is a saying which has been going around that we ‘speak the gospel and sometimes use words’, but I think that has given wrong emphasis and led to not even using words. It is by the foolishness of preaching that the lost are brought to Christ. (See 1 Corinthians 1:21 – “For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe.”)
An often-made humorous quip about a wife changing her husband when they get married is encapsulated in aisle altar hymn. The intention might be applauded but it rarely comes to pass, and if it does it is not usually for the better. Their intentions might be laudable that they want to shape them by guiding them to Jesus. Peter reminds them that it is through godly submission, chaste conduct and fear of the Lord.
Marriage is a marvellous thing. A marriage that works is a miracle. It is all about TWO becoming ONE. How on earth can two individual people, with all their differences of character, interests and habits, live together and share everything as if they were just one.
Jesus said in Luke 11v17 “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
If both partners come into the relationship prepared for battle in those first two years, the foundation will begin to crumble. The Apostle Paul gives us the divine perspective on human relationships, not only in marriage but in every dimension of life – “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” — (Philippians 2v3)
Dobson says that that one verse contains more wisdom than most marriage manuals combined. If heeded, it could virtually eliminate divorce from the catalogue of human experience.
Many marriages fail because one or both partners don’t know who is supposed to be doing what. So, get the roles clear now.
The normal ‘rule’ is that – He is the home-provider, and she is the homemaker. It sounds old fashioned and maybe it is oversimplified, but IT WORKS. And it works because it is Biblical pattern.
Elizabeth Catherwood in her book ‘The Role of Women’ says that as a result of feminist publicity, no word is more laden with the aura of boredom, lack of ability and character or even sheer horror; than that of ‘housewife’. A few years ago, the head of a girls High School was interviewed on radio. She lamented girls having no drive for top management, and said, “There is no doubt at all, babies and the home knock the right out of a girl.” What a miserably one-sided and inadequate view of the homemaker. The wife, mother and homemaker is already in top management.
One day a mother was out shopping with a baby in a pram and two toddlers dragging behind. She met a smartly dressed young woman who had obviously reached the top of her profession. As she drew near, they recognized each other as old school friends. “HeIIo! The professional greeted, “And what are you doing in life?”
The weary mother replied, “I’m working in a partnership for social development and I supervise the under-fives department at present, I also spend a fair bit of my time in the department of health, hygiene and food, and assist in financial control. What do you do? ““Oh” gasped the admiring professional, “I’m just a model”. That is how every wife and mother should view her position – top management and fully employed.
There is a sense in which a wife’s efforts to shape her husband through her own words and efforts may hinder the power of God’s working on the husband. It is much more effective to submit in the way God says to, thus demonstrating trust in Him, and to let God have his way with the husband. The husband should perceive his wife’s submission as a beautiful thing, just as God intended it, and conclude that the word of God is true and come to believe in it for himself.
Seemingly the phrase ‘do not obey the word’ mens more than ‘do not believe’. Disobedient husbands can be won through the wife’s godly conduct.
“Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (v3,4)
Peter expands on the role of women and their beauty. He did not forbid outward adornment, but that it should be moderate, rather it should be inward. We see women some wearing lots of make-up and fancy clothes and jewellery. Sadly, some wear very revealing clothes. Males have enough problems with temptation without some females parading in seductive dress. One has said, Ladies dress attractively but not seductively.
Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart – true beauty is on the inside and should be evident. It isn’t something you wear or pretend to be. We must never see what we can get away with but be true and genuine. It is a beauty which does not decay, it is incorruptible and a gentle and quiet spirit. It comes from the heart. A woman’s true beauty comes from within. We are bombarded with adverts telling us how we can improve ourselves and usually they cost a lot of money. Beauty cannot be bought. A gentle and quiet spirit is very precious in the sight of God and are characteristics of true beauty.
“For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” (v5,6)
Peter reminded them that holy women of former times adorned themselves trusting in God, and this was not new teaching. Those holy women clearly demonstrated their faith.
He gives Sarah as an example as she obeyed her husband Abraham (see Genesis). She honoured him by calling him lord. One commentator said that true submission knows the place of obedience and honour. It is vital that we surrender to God’s will and do good, in which case there should be need for terror or fear. True submission is willing submission to God’s will.
Is it all for the wives? No, the husbands do not get off scot-free. “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” (v7)
Husbands have responsibilities too, probably that’s why the word ‘likewise’ is there, not necessarily the same but equally important. Husbands must dwell with their wives, not merely share a house, but ‘dwell’, live with, indicating complete togetherness. There’s a unity and oneness, even though the roles are different. He understands his wife. Paul says in Ephesians 5 that, “Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself”(v28)
Some might think that the wife is hard done to, but the husband has an enormous responsibility and in no way is he let off the hook. He is to dwell with his wife with ‘understanding’. He should know her well and help her with her needs. He is to give her honour, to know how to make her feel honoured. She is to submit to him, but he must never make her feel like a servant under a tyrant of a master.
I’m not a Greek scholar but I understand that the word for ‘the wife’ means literally ‘feminine one’, which indicates that her feminine nature should prompt the husband to honour her. This would have been quite radical teaching in the culture of that time. A husband had absolute rights over his wife, and the wife little or no rights in marriage. All the duties and obligations in marriage were put on the wife. Peter was teaching that the husband was obligated by God towards his wife, as the weaker vessel. These days you would feel the heckles rise, weaker vessel, indeed!
In this context weaker vessel speaks of the woman’s relative physical weakness compared to men. Men are generally stronger physically but not necessarily spiritually. Therefore, the husband should be gentle thoughtful in how he deals with her.
They may be different in some ways, but Peter recognises that they are heirs together. A godly husband must realise that his wife is also his equal, not only his wife but his sister in Christ. As we said earlier, they are one. Equal in spiritual privilege and joint heirs.
Then we come to an outstanding statement – ‘that your prayer may not be hindered’. Failure to live as a godly husband has spiritual consequences. If we do not fulfil our role as God intended and taught it will hinder our prayers. Are your prayers being hindered? Check you are being the husband God intends.
Prayer is so important and invaluable to a true believer that any possibility of hindering should be a motive to behave wisely and properly in marriage. Anything which hinders prayer must be wrong. Couple this with Titus 2:5 which indicates that if husband and wife do not fulfil their roles, the word of God is blasphemed. If this sound doctrine is not obeyed, we make the Word of God to be evil spoken of or maligned, blasphemed or made of non-effect. The two must important assets to the Christian life, prayer and the Word of God are affected and made ineffective if we do not fulfil our roles.
“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.” (v8,9)
It is one thing to be of one mind, so long as it is my mind, but the one mind here is the mind of Christ. We cannot be of the mind of Christ if we don’t know what it is. We need to know God’s word to know the mind of Christ. This speaks of the unity of God’s people. We are not all the same just as parts of our body are not. Each one has different functions, but they are united in one mind. Paul spends a little time talking about the different body functions, but it is ONE body. A choir displays harmony even though each part is different.
Compassionate, tenderhearted, courteous are words used to describe the love we should have for one another. Jesus commanded us to love our brothers. They wold even describe how others would know that we are His disciples (see John 13:35)
Next, we come to the subject of revenge and retaliation, which causes terrible conflicts around the world. One group wrongs another the natural response to hostility is retaliation and dedicates rest of the time to repaying that wrong. Only the love of Jesus for our enemies can break the terrible cycle.
Therefore, we must not seek to repay evil for evil, which would be a natural reaction to being wronged. Rather, we are to give blessing in return. Sadly, these things still occur between Christians and clearly, we are told that they must not and such things should never be allowed to fester.
We might be tempted to congratulate ourselves on loving those who love us, but Jesus said that the real test is loving our enemies (Matthew 5:44-47). Note that Peter says that this is our calling so that we may inherit a blessing.
Peter once more quotes from the Old Testament, this time from Psalm 34:12-16
“He who would love life
And see good days,
Let him refrain his tongue from evil,
And his lips from speaking deceit.
Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil.” (v10-12)
This demonstrates the blessing that comes to those who turn away from evil and do good. It is not always easy but the rewards of doing good are better and more secure than the rewards of doing evil. God’s eyes on us and ears open to our prayers is indeed a blessing.
“And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defence to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.” (v13-17)
Who have we to fear? Great question. No-one can harm us if we are followers of good. Seems a strange statement when previously he has been saying about those who persecute us for simply doing good. In context, however, what he is saying is that man may harm the body but not the soul. Despite this we should strive to do good because our eternal destiny rests in God’s hands and not the hands of man. You will recall in the book of Daniel, he and his three friends were put into frightening situations for standing firm for God and were delivered. However, there were others who were not. Read Hebrews 11 and you will see that very clearly. Peter goes on to say that even if you do suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed by God. “For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil:” None of us want to suffer. However, if we must suffer it is better for doing good and evil.
The possibility of suffering for doing good should not cause us to fail to do good, instead we should give a special place to to God (I think that’s what the word ‘sanctify’ means here, and we should always be ready to give a defence for our faith in meekness and fear.
I hope that we are always ready to speak up for our faith. To do so, it is important that we know our Bible and we rely on the Holy Spirit to give us the words to speak. Peter had to do this on several occasions in the Acts of the Apostles. (e.g. 2:14-39 and 5:29-32)
When others return evil to us when we do good our reaction to that should prove to them that they are wrong about us and make them ashamed for speaking against us in our godly living.
“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit,” (v18)
Some might think that Peter mentions Christ suffering as an example, but it is far more than that. Whilst it was the perfect example of suffering for something He never did, it goes to the core of our salvation and the cost of it. It is the one, final sacrifice for sin which fully met the price of sin before Almighty God. There is nothing for us to pay and nothing we can do to earn it, but to receive it.
You may recall that Jesus was even forsaken by His Father on that cross. So bad was our sin that His Father could not look on Him in the darkness of those three hours in His intense suffering. We are promised the presence of God in our suffering, but He was alone. In a sense His suffering on the cross was worse than any could suffer, certainly in spiritual suffering and experience.
Whilst Peter used the suffering of the Lord Jesus as an example and even an encouragement, He was completely apart from all others in His suffering. He was the ‘just for the unjust’, and it was ‘to bring us to God’. We, who were alienated from Godare brought near in a new relationship with God our Heavenly Father. He went to death, and passed through death to resurrection, conquering the death and the grave.
We now come to what is perhaps the most difficult passages to understand and explain.
“By whom also He went and preached to the spirits in prison, who formerly were disobedient, when once the Divine longsuffering waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight souls, were saved through water. There is also an antitype which now saves us—baptism (not the removal of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God), through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, angels and authorities and powers having been made subject to Him.” (v19-22)
It begins with a continuation from the previous verse, which I believe, The Holy Spirit is the, “by whom”. He went and preached to the spirits in prison. I have doubts that this means Hell and am wary when the creed says he descended into hell. One writer says that we cannot be dogmatic about this.
He preached to the spirits in prison. A prison is not a permanent place unlike hell. We often hear people say that they have been to hell and back. No-one has done that; hell is a place from which no-one returns. It is clear from Luke 16 that there is a great gulf fixed between Abraham’s bosom and Hades (or Heaven and Hell), so one cannot get from one to the other.
I am not going to attempt to explain these verses. Remember I am not a theologian, but an ordinary Christian guy who likes to read the Bible.
He refers to Noah when God looked on the earth and the thoughts and actions of men was only evil continually. It is thought that these were evil spirits and Jesus ‘preached’ judgment and not the gospel. These where thought to be fallen angels and He was displaying His victory over sin and death, which of course, spelt their defeat. The word ‘prison’ indicates the abode of Satan, the Greek word is only used twice in the New Testament, here and in Revelation. To my simple mind it seems to say that He made a victorious proclamation to the demons.
Judgment fell during the time of Noah, amazingly not one of the elect, chosen by God, was apparent for 120 years during which time Noah preached, because only he and his family were saved.
The wonderful thing is that Jesus has gone to heaven to prepare a place for us who are His. We are safe in His care. A few years ago, I wrote a gospel song and it includes the words, ‘One day soon I know, that His lovely face I’ll see; I’ll be there, safely there in His care.’
